Inclusive Homeschool

Well, I haven’t posted here since the 28th of February. I’ve been busy dealing with other aspects of my life outside of homeschooling, things that demanded my advocacy and investigator skills - immediately.

You know, I’d love to be able to just be a stay at home mom and homeschool my kid. In all my years of activism, I’d have to say that homeschooling my child has been the most radical activism and the most rewarding I have ever engaged in.

But I’m a single mom, and I need to support myself and my child. And I have family, one in particular, my older brother, who is very vulnerable and needs me to be his advocate. And then there’s my dear friend who is dealing with a serious health issue and grandchildren, and adult children I want to find time for.

Survival takes a big chunk out of my time. That and advocacy and care giving.

Still, Brhiannon takes up the majority of my time, so when reality tosses some things your way that absolutely has to be tended to, you just do what you have to do.

It means less sleep for me and the amount I do get is interrupted in the middle of the night, when I just suddenly find my eyes have opened as if they had a mind of their own.

I’m learning to be protective of my time with my daughter. It’s so easy to have her time encroached upon by the urgent needs of others. That happened all the time with my two oldest, and then one day, I turned around and they had grown up and moved away.

I am more mindful of not letting that happen with my youngest.

I think, especially, when you’re a single parent, that you have to be even more vigilant against encroachment. So easy to put things off - whether it’s lessons or field trips. No where is it more important to be able to draw boundaries, to find a balance between service to others and service to yourself.

Because even in making Brhiannon my priority, which she is, I need to, also, take care of myself. Because when I am exhausted, I can’t teach her. Maybe I can meet barebones requirement, but that’s not why I’m homeschooling.

And I know you’ve heard this a million times, but they do grow fast. Problems will be there after your child has grown, but your child won’t - even if they stay in your life. For though they will always be your baby in your mind and heart, standing before you will be an adult never to be that child to you again.

Grandchildren will never take your children’s place. And they shouldn’t. So this is your one shot. They have a place that is beautiful and joyous all of their own. What you have with your child is what you have with your child and it’s only for a very short time.

It’s part of the reason we homeschool. Don’t let other things, even the important ones, cause you to sacrifice that.

Find what works for you, but make sure what works doesn’t cost you more than you’re willing to pay.

Tags: grandchildren, self-care, single mom

That may sound like the most obvious statement in the world, but in a culture that’s so fond of delineating things into stages and phases, and perceives a linear journey more than an exponential one, we sometimes forget that walking through a door doesn’t mean closing it.

I was once taught that you raised your kids, they became adults and you let them go. And if you had a relationship with them then, it was as adults. (Not by my mother, by the way, who raised me to believe I was responsible for her welfare and would always be.)

But your kids do grow up. They become adults and the time of childhood is over. But your relationship to them as their mother isn’t.

The needs of the relationship changes and the way you express your love changes, but the parent/child relationship never ends.

A Lovely Lunch with My Son
Today, I had lunch with my son, whom I adore. As a young man approaching his 23rd birthday, I don’t see him all that often, so I really cherished this time together and the two-hour fifteen minute talk we had. He did most of it, sharing this thoughts, his feelings with me. I soaked up every word.

And yes, without a doubt, there was this young man, a young adult making his place, figuring out his priorities and what that looks like to him…no longer the eight year old I remembered, nor will ever be again.

But he wasn’t talking to a peer or another adult. I was his mom, and there was a significance to my words that only I could have as his mom.

No matter how well or how poorly we do our job, we as parents carry so much power to be able to make a difference in our children’s lives - no matter their age.

Never to be Replicated or Substituted
This doesn’t mean we make choices for them or live their lives for them or carry them on our backs. It doesn’t mean they have to live up to our expectations. Their lives, after all, are their’s.

And this isn’t another one of those very worn out “mothers are to blame for everything” kind of Freudian scapegoating either. Our children, especially as adults, are responsible for the choices they make, and are indeed, free agents.

But what we bring to our children, as their mothers, can have significance to them that cannot be replicated or substituted by anyone else. No matter how old they get, we have a power.

We have the power to matter - regardless whether they want to or are capable of admitting that or not. Most importantly, we have the power to see. How we see our children has incredible potential to heal, support and uplift them…or tear them down.

It’s never too late to bless our kids.

Children grow, kids turn into adults, but once you take on the job, you never stop being a mother. How I am needed changes, but the fact that I am needed never does.

And that comforts me.

Tags: Children, offspring, parenting, relationship, single mom

I love homeschoolers. They are among the most supportive people I have ever met, especially in the online groups I belong to.

I was stressing out about a situation, and asked for help on one of my email group lists. It’s amazing the support and wonderful suggestions I received. As a single parent, it can be very challenging to homeschool your child, but while I’m responsible for putting together my curriculum, implementing it and supporting myself and my child, I’m not alone.

I’m fortunate there are two co-op groups in my area that I can participate in, but I also have 24 hour seven days a week support online from any one of my many homeschool email groups.

You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re considering homeschooling or are homeschooling, get on a homeschool list and let yourself reap the benefits of other people’s experiences. Plus, you deserve the emotional support. The curriculum reviews are valuable alone, but those encouraging words are priceless.

Yahoo Groups has tons of homeschooling groups for all topics and regions. There’s over 800,000 education and school groups alone! You can narrow down your search and find the group(s) for you.

So Many Uses
If you want to know about cyber schools, there’s a group. If you want to know about a specific cyber school there’s a group. If you’re interested in unschooling or Waldorf or classical education there’s a group. If you have a visual spatial child or you want to know more about lapbooking there’s a group. There’s actually more than one group on each of those topics and more.

Co-ops often have their own group to keep in touch with members and virtual co-ops exist online. There’s groups for virtual field trips, a valuable resource to find really awesome places to go to online, live cams, 3D museum tours and the like. There are groups for just about everything and anything. You pick. You choose. Or you can start one up.

I just read of a homeschooling family that created their own yahoo group for their family. This doesn’t take the place of family time, but really helped them to coordinate their school work and activities throughout the day. Plus, it was fun.

Just go there, type in your search and choose. I don’t know what I’d do without mine. Well, I do know…I did without before with my first two. I struggled. That’s what I did.

It’s still a challenge, but what a world of difference!

Tags: help, homeschool, network, online, Resources, single mom, support

I’m Demian, “DreamSinger“, singer/songwriter, author and activist.
Welcome to my new blog, “Inclusive Home School”!

Actually, I’m steering away from “school” as such, and leaning more towards a “learning centered home”.

Homeschooling is such a major part of my life and I am constantly searching out materials and resources that I realized it would be a waste not to share it with others.

Homeschooling isn’t just about academics though. When you do it you start to see just how much a part of life it is…that it is life and not just a preparation for it.

It’s a learning process for me, and I learn best when I write things down - it helps me to see my thoughts.

My daughter, Brhiannon, on the other hand, has a very different learning style. A pen in her hand doesn’t work as well…unless she’s drawing with it. Clay works wonders. Doodling - whether it’s topic related or not - helps her to anchor what she’s hearing. We are a very creative family.

Demian reading from her book, “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes”

Oh, and daydreaming is an important part of our “curriculum”. Unfortunately, we don’t do it as often as we should.

I’ll have to make a note to be more mindful of that in the coming week.

Please read our “About Us” page, and again, welcome to this brand new blog. I won’t get my daughter until Tuesday late afternoon, so her first post won’t be for a couple days…that’s another issue. I’m a single mom, and she’s for all practical purposes, an only child so there will be a lot to explore in that area.

It’s already proven to be an interesting journey. So glad you can join us!

Tags: creative, home school, inclusive, only child, right brain, single mom